From The Metro: Woman blames vampire for car crash
Must B+
about your statement, else you’ll
get it in the neck
From AP via MSNBC: 
Vodkarnivorous?
Harvey Wallbangers and mash
at this drinking joint.
From AFP Via Yahoo: No sex please, we’re astronauts: NASA commander
Docking off-limits?
Abort the mission to find
the zero G-spot.
From BBC News: Leeds hospital team helps Blackley leg-theft victim
Faith, hop, charity.
But at the reception he
ended up legless.
From Orange: Woman flashes for peace and quiet
Tits out for the lad.
While hooters may hush half pint,
she has her knockers
From The Telegraph: Man run over by truck ‘driven’ by his dog
Whippet into gear
and put the paw to the floor -
his tail’s a-waggon.
From The Metro: Drug dealer’s to do list includes ‘go on the rob’ and ‘sell weed’
1. Go on the rob
2. Sell weed. 3. Get busted
4. Go to prison
From The Telegraph: Long Man of Wilmington given 20ft penis
Long Man’s Little Man
What do you think, Katie Price?
“Wouldn’t touch the sides.”
From The Telegraph: Young shoplifters to be given jobs in shops
Robbers’ retail role
This is not so new – we have
bandits running banks
From The Independent: Rotten-egg smell delayed the evolution of animals
This is why life stinks.
Mankind will never advance
because of YOUR farts
