Haiku – Middle Eastern Loo

From The Telegraph: Middle-Eastern-style ‘squat’ lavatories fitted in Rochdale shopping centre

Crapper culture clash.
Po-litical correctness
has gone down the pan

Haiku – London’s Sewer Fat Would Fill 9 Buses

From The Telegaph: Fat cleared from London sewers will fill nine double-decker buses

London’s lump of lard
Enough to fill nine buses
or seven Big Macs

Haiku – Custard Armour

From The Telegraph: Scientists create ‘custard armour’ to protect soldiers

A trifle to make
hundreds and thousands, but none
for the desserters

Haiku – Toy Loving Tortoise

From The Telegraph: Tortoise falls in love with a plastic toy

Tortoise gets called cute
When I had plastic girlfriend
I was called pervert

Holiday haiku 4

I look up to the
private boats, down on day hire.
Day hire, know your place

Holiday haiku 3

Boat and bed and board?
The brochure failed to mention
the bed is a board

Holiday haiku 2

Could not enter pub
in Stratford-Upon-Avon
because I was Bard

Holiday haiku

Canal holiday
Before leaving the boatyard,
bitten by a swan

Haiku – World Cup made of Cocaine

From Sky News via Yahoo: Police in Colombia have seized a replica World Cup trophy – made from 11 kilos of cocaine.

Snow White silverware
England team would try harder
if this was real cup

Haiku – New Hampshire Beer Thief Arrested 154 Times

From Gawker: New Hampshire Beer Thief Arrested 154 Times

Ale fail trail to jail
as beer blagger begs brig and
secures stout sentence